I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
