and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
