Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?