Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.