i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.