Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Randomize
