I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.