I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish you could order shots online.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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