Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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