My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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