38 yer olds are good kisserssss
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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