He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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