You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
