So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
