Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
