dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I have vodka in my lungs
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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