You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
