Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
