i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
His nipple licking is glorious
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