Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
