i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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