wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
