also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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