just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?