If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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