so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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