I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
