I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
