I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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