Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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