You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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