Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
