i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
