walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
