the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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