So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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