I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
