what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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