We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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