yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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