she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she told me i tasted like america
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
whose parrot is this?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
