I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
