guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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