what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
