Dual....:-)
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
