Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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