You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize