I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
