His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
