i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize