Porn is love you can see.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
