I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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