I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
