just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
