I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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