saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
