did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
