I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
