I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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