windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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