so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
