so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
