I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
