I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
