also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
