you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
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we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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