Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
