Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
