New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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