2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
