life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize