if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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