Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
